The Hike of Shame: Mt. Shinbulsan

It's scientifically proven that beginning one's day with rigorous physical activity will lessen even the worst post-merrymaking ailments. My comrades and I decided to test this theory last Sunday. "Late to bed, early to rise" was our motto, as we clocked in around four and met at ten for a hike up Mt. Shinbulsan, Ulsan's second highest peak. Trip advisor Dez knew the trek to the mountain was going to be just as scrupulous as the actual hike, so we gave ourselves plenty of daylight to work with. Why would it be difficult to get to the base of a mountain? Well, we can't just jump into my Barbie car and cruise our way to Shinbulsan, located about 24km away in Eonyeong, so instead we took a bus to the end of the earth and caught a taxi the rest of the way. Or that was our plan, at least.

In the name of science I, of course, had to find a willing participant to truly test said theory. After consuming about six Long Islands, my new friend Nick was, at the time, an extremely willing (and dare I say excited!) participant to hike hungover on Ulsan's second highest peak. Nick's thoughts seemed to change throughout the night, though, and the thrill in his eyes diminished when we met at ten. I have to say, I'm proud of each of us for simply getting dressed that morning, and I am especially happy I packed a pathetic "hike bag" with a few things to sustain us over the afternoon. Now, I'm no hiker and had no idea what to expect, but Dez said this particular hike would take roughly four hours to complete  and that did not include travel time, so snacks were a must.

Okay, transit number one. Nick, Dez, Tim and I boarded what was possibly the hottest bus in all of Korea. We took a spot in the back and tried to get comfortable, but there's only so many layers you can shed. After half an hour of Korean countryside and a series of sickening speed bumps, it was clear that Nick's stomach contents would remain contained no longer! A very panicked, ghost-faced Nick glided gracefully down the aisle, and the distinctly potent smell of sick followed soon after. Yep, off the bus at the next stop, please.

Maybe this was a bus stop? Maybe this was simply where the driver wished us ado. 

Either way, there was a hose. 
I-SPY Bonus: Find Nick!

We were all relieved to be off that bus, but a new challenge had arisen. Where were we? Not even Dez knew for sure, so we began walking towards the mountain with hopes of seeing a stray taxi. Four caucasians on the side of a two lane road draws a lot of attention and snickers from Korean passerbys, but we managed to hold our heads high and trek on. As usual, my obnoxious optimism kept spirits up (ha, that's what I like to think) and as it turned out, we were only a ten minute walk from the original destination. Claps for Nick! Good timing on that puke. From the bus stop/market we had to call a taxi to drive us to the base of Shinbulsan. We considered walking, but it's a damn good thing we didn't. Freshly purged tummies or not, we definitely wouldn't have gotten very far, so a kind store owner called a cab for the group. It's amazing how something so simple, such as calling a taxi, is so difficult when you don't speak the language!

Taxi time. Dez is ready.

Seizing the moment to do some warm-up lunges before the hike. 

Notice the official hiking gear: Mom's spandex pants from the early 90s, rain jacket, and Reeboks. I mean hiking Reeboks.

Transit number two. Now, taxis in Korea are generally inexpensive, but apparently the base of Mt. Shinbulsan wasn't on the driver's regular route (whaaaa?!) so we had to pay a higher fee than normal. Split four ways, no big deal! We were ready to hike. First up on the list was the waterfall, about a mile walk from the entrance to the park. On the way, Dez shared some Korean superstition about Shinbulsan and the waterfall. It is said that no swimming is allowed around Shinbulson because the waterfall is so powerful that below it's surface there is an inescapable aquatic vortex created from its hydraulic fury. (I'll let you be the judge of that one.) Grant it, Korea is much warmer in January than the midwest, but I was content to remain above water on this particular hike. I thought the waterfall would be more fun in the summertime, but I was completely wrong! When we found the fall it had formed a frozen shell and looked quite similar to a cave formation, which I obviously geeked out over. OMG, so cool. 

We began near the red cluster to the right. The majority of our hike was up, and up, and up to the green point (essentially in the clouds) on the right.

All of the Koreans walked onto the ice in their super-secure hiking boots. 

Oh yeah, Reeboks. Doin' me proud.

The next K-Pop stars, I think.

After the waterfall everyone was feeling pretty great. Morale was high, the mountain air was doing wonders for aching heads and livers, and we had absolutely no idea what kind of hike we were getting ourselves into. I mean, the "hike" to the waterfall was no hike at all compared to the ascent up Shinbulsan. Shit was about to get real. We first encountered some switchbacks, nothing I hadn't seen on a trail run or hiking in brown county, but as soon as the pavement disappeared from view it seemed we were climbing straight up. Laughter turned silent, silence turned to panting, panting turned to my complaining about boob sweat, and it was essentially all down hill/up hill from there. Alright, I'm being a little dramatic, but it became clear to me that I've never actually hiked a real hike before. It was really enjoyable because I was with great people and we were able to talk for a solid two hours while we walked up the mountain, but I'd probably hate to hike with someone I don't like. Like Justin Bieber. I'd hate to go on a hike with Justin Bieber. Mostly it was just us and the great outdoors, but we'd sometimes pass a group of Koreans hiking down with their walking sticks, playing Korean music from their phone. They just smiled and waved and probably thought "Oh, silly foreigners in their non-traditional hiking attire." Psh.

Tim and Nick are such good troopers.

This was about the point when I asked Dez how much longer we had and he informed me we were only half way. Normally Dez is joking, but this is no joke face.

The second half of the hike up was tiring, I'll be honest. Thankfully I ate breakfast before we got on the bus, but Tim and Nick hadn't eaten anything all morning. Between the four of us we had maybe three bottles of water, two apples, a small bag of almonds, two granola bars, and a bag of delicious grape candies Nick bought at the market. Not exactly enough to sustain a group of hungover waygooks as they ascend 4,000 feet up a mountain, but you live and learn. And I will say that every piece of food and every drop of water was consumed throughout the remainder of the hike. And we learned, and thank god we all lived, and Dez dropped his phone in some snow, and we climbed five million stairs, and the Rocky theme song played in my head on repeat. And we made it. It was glorious to see blue skies.

I climbed 1,158m and put my hand on a phallic monument. 

SUCCESS.

I'm not exactly sure what this was, but I took a picture of literally everything knowing I would never ever be up there again. YOLO.

Dez was so tired he tried to build a stone hut for himself. 

Just kidding.

Making it to the top of Shinbulsan was a pretty powerful, emotional experience. We spent all day to get to this very point and I was so happy to know the ascent was over, but from there it's pretty anti-climactic. Dez claimed there was a convenience store at the top, and I really, really, really wanted that to be true (in my heart I knew it wasn't true...), so once I discovered that myth was false there was nothing left to do but shrug and hike back down the mountain. With just enough sunlight to guide us off the trail and back to the park we had another cab called and were forced to wait about thirty minutes until he arrived. Hungry, tired, and cold, no amount of optimism could perk us up. But there was something else to do the job...

Hiking down, ducks in a row style. 

Probably talking about beer and food. 

Killing our calves and quads.

Back on solid ground! Thumbs up!

SURPRISE! ICE CREAMS AND A CAT!

Then the taxi came and we all went home and slept forever. What could have been an unproductive day of hangin' and bellyachin' became one of my fondest memories in Korea. There are many more hikes, hangovers, and memories to come I'm sure.