Two Wheels, Four Wheels, and Guns: Bulguksa Pension Weekend

Tom Cochrane once sang that "life is a highway," but last weekend I observed the phrase in a more literal sense. Swiftly peddling (and muttering profanities) along the shoulder of Highway 7 wasn't exactly what I had in mind when my friends asked if I'd like to bike to our pension in Gyeongju, and it surely wasn't a road I wanted to ride "all night long," but it definitely made for an interesting start to our friend Michael's last weekend in Korea. And, as usual, it made one hell of a memory.

It all began at 7am. The plan was this: Meet DiDi by the river, ride to Shayla's, take the bike path until it ended, ride along Highway 7 to our weekend home in Bulguksa, (near Gyeongju--the marathon location) and have a day of good ol' American Father's Day FUN! This plan was great. No, it was better than great. The plan was grand. Our boring friends would meet us at the house with food and libations, the house had a pool...What could be better? Surprisingly bright eyed and bushy tailed as the gal with the longest commute, I met DiDi and Shayla and we rode along one Ulsan's convenient and well-manicured bike paths. Biking is pretty popular here. Well, let me rephrase that; dressing like a serious biker is pretty popular here. When biking, I seldom pass a cyclist without the full jersey, padded shorts, aerodynamic helmet, shades, gloves, cycling shoes, etc. Other than the cool clothes there is no real evidence that the Koreans log any substantial mileage, but I sure hope they do because Ulsan on two wheels trumps Ulsan on four. Anyway, with nothing more than ajumma pants, my backpack, and a prayer, I happily toted alongside my friends for about two hours, zigzagging through trees, past streams, even in the rice paddy fields. It was beautiful.

Shayla on the right,
Sarah on the left

Rice paddy fields with the city in the distance

A beautiful day for biking

Then the path ended.

What I quickly came to realize was that DiDi had never personally biked the route and only received rough directions from a friend. That friend failed to mention that for over an hour we'd have to bike on the shoulder of Highway 7. When the time came, there was literally no other option but to screw it and do it. So we did it. And I will say that Korea's highway shoulder is especially clean compared to the highways I'm familiar with in the USA. There was no litter, debris, or roadkill to be found. Regardless, the final hour of the journey was more stressful and dangerous than I would have liked, but we did all three make it in one piece and actually managed to beat one car to the pension. Biker bitches rule!

With a new appreciation of life, having just escaped death in Korea once again, there was nothing more appropriate than guns and camouflage. Never had I anticipated such an activity to be available here, but alas, I was proven so, so wrong. Mostly to honor Michael's departure from Asia (as well as honor the gun-shootin' papas back home on their special day) we puppy piled into the pick-up van and set out for our shoot out.

Fourteen of us, plus the driver, in the van.

I'm hiding behind Shayla and under Beth.

Michael, DiDi and I acting friendly off the battlefield.

With less than one hour decompression time before hauling ass to the paintball location, I won't lie, I was feeling a little frazzled. And scared. It had been over six years since I last indulged in the sport but the sting of the pre-welt paint pellet was fresh in my mind. (Well, not really, but I knew it would hurt!) Let's just say the girls were less than thrilled to partake, but it seemed the guys were sprouting chest hair all morning just thinking about it. Once we arrived we changed into our camo, sat through a questionable Korean safety orientation, and prepared ourselves for the battlefield. Each step closer filled me with dread, but I think I was doing a moderately acceptable job of hiding it. 

 

The paintball area was smaller than I expected but had plenty to hide behind. Since I bruise like a peach, I tried my best to duck and cover without shooting blindly into the trees. None of us moved around too much and the first game was over pretty quickly, but by the second game I was feeling more confident. Barely grazed on the arm in game one, I was totally welt free and felt a bit trigger happy, so using the scope was exactly what I needed to dominate game two, and DOMINATE I DID. Muahahaha. I shot Lauren right in the face guard and it was fantastic. She was the best sport and went out guns a'blazin' in our final boys versus girls round.

Girls won. 

So did Beth's hair.

Shooting friends:
Bonding time like none other

After the paintball our adrenaline was pretty high, but there's no better way to lower one's heart rate than ride an ATV, so that's precisely what we did. I traded a face mask for a helmet, hopped on the hog, did a lap for "practice" and hit the quarry. No signature, medical card, or proof of insurance required. I love Korea.

On your mark...

Get set...

GO!

Never too busy for the Victory sign with DiDi

Or Shayla

After putzing around for about a half hour we reconvened for a Father's Day scolding. The foreigners drove too fast and too reckless they said, and without any insurance to cover our speedy asses we got the boot. "Yes, Dad," we sulked with puppy dog eyes. SLOWLY and CAREFULLY, we drove back to base camp. As we returned we passed several Koreans on ATVs going no more than ten miles per hour, and I swear one was wearing loafers. The business was nice enough to give us half of our money back, however. Apologies go out to all the foreigners who will never be granted access to play there thanks to us. Meh. YOLO.

No one could be that mad

at a face that cute.

Three hours of biking, paintball, and ATV badassery all before 3pm worked up quite an appetite, so we shuttled back to the pension for an afternoon of pool party relaxation and the best BBQ a vegetarian could ask for. The house we rented was nestled in a little commune of similar pensions and came equipped with a shared pool, grilling area, and singular bathroom for fourteen. Perfect! 

I'm sure we scared all the Koreans.

But look at this spread!
Moments after the pension people brought

us rice because, you know, no meal

is complete without the rice.

Typical scene: DiDi smiling, me grabbing veg,

Lauren dancing in the background on a table.

The remainder of the day mixed as well as Peach Absolut and aloe juice, and I realized how lucky I am to have met such wonderful people here. Korea itself is a nice country, but time and time again I am reminded that it's not where you are, it's who you're with. And what you're doing, even if you're not sure exactly what you're doing.

Trying to do...something?

 Failing, obviously.

That's better.

Lady to lady.

Man to man.

Food to grill.

No better way to end the night than with Adam's middle finger, Michael's smile, and DiDi trying to drink the ketchup bottle. I wish Michael all the best back home in the states with his beautiful fiancé and exciting future! And, just like that, another friend said farewell.